Curlpacking: Annette Lake

To commemorate the best date that will happen in my lifetime, which was 11/11/11, I suggested that we all go backpacking for a nice, leisurely fall trip:

Me:  Are we actually going to leave today?

Sparklepants:  Sure, maybe.  We still have to get our gear together.

Sunnykins:  Do we know where we are going yet?

Sparklepants:  I was going to look up some hikes.

Sunnykins:  Why don’t we just leave tomorrow?

Me:  Great idea.  Who wants a drink?

Sunnykins:  Is this the trail?

Sparklepants:  Where is the trail?

Me:  The trail guide says go to the right.

Sparklepants:  We went the the left because you said to go to the left.

Sunnykins:  This doesn’t seem like the trail.

Me:  I think this is the nature trail.

Sparklepants:  We just went in a fucking circle.

Sunnykins:  How much further?

Sparklepants:  I didn’t realize it was going to be snowing this hard.

Sunnykins:  Fuck you, switchbacks!

Me:  It’s pretty though, right?

Sunnykins:  I’m totally soaked through.

Me:  Me too.  My raincoat doesn’t work either.

Sunnykins:  Did it just stop working?

Me:  No, but I wanted to give it another chance.

Sunnykins:  How many chances have you given it?

Me:  3?

Sunnykins:  Did you treat it or anything to try to make it more waterproof in between?

Me:  No.

Sunnykins:  I don’t understand how you could expect it to start working then.

Me:  It does seem illogical when you put it that way.

Texting to the crew:

Sunnykins: We’re alive! At Twede’s Cafe.

[Sidebar:  Twede’s is apparently home to the famous Twin Peaks Cherry pie and a “damn fine cup of coffee.”

I can’t speak to the coffee, but the pie sucks.  Don’t order the pie if you ever go there.  End Sidebar.]

First Mate: Glad you guys are safe.  You know the cops were looking for you right?

Me:  Are you for reals?

First Mate: Found your car.  Thought something might have happened to you.

Sunnykins: At the trailhead? What?

Telephone call to the Sheriff’s office:

Sheriff:  Someone reported they saw your car abandoned at the trailhead.

Me:  It wasn’t abandoned.

Sheriff:  Where are you?

Me: I’m at home.

Sheriff:  Is your car still out there?

Me:  No, we drove it back.

Sheriff:  Did you set off flares this morning?  Someone set off flares this morning.  Was it you?

Me:  No.

Sheriff:  Ok.  We’ll call you again if we need to.

This leaves me with some questions:

  1. What does it mean, “we’ll call you again if we need to”?  Why would the Sheriff need to call me again?
  2. Shouldn’t the Sheriff’s office be out looking for the person or group who actually did set off the flares this morning?
  3. Why would someone report a car at a well known backpacking trailhead as abandoned when it was parked there for less that 24 hours?  (Granted, I will admit the weather conditions would indicate that only the most foolhardy would willingly camp in a blizzard.  But still.  This is the Pacific Northwest, home to REI, and plenty of intrepid outdoor recreationalists.)
  4. If an establishment is going to claim fame for something like cherry pie, why wouldn’t that establishment take care to ensure that said cherry pie is actually something which deserves fame?
  5. Why do waterproof raincoats with a lifetime guarantee stop being waterproof in much less time than a lifetime?
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