Meat Day

A couple of days ago we made some meat. Braised and grilled beef and pork ribs to be exact. And then we ate said meat. It was delicious!

We also might have polished off a liter of Bombay Sapphire, and I might have fallen on my ass a couple of times, jamming my thumb and scraping up my right knee. Curl Captain might have fallen over onto fellow curler CdR, who was lying on the couch (CdR asked me the next day why she had a bump on her head). But it was an epic night of Aviations and Magic Mic, and it was worth it!

The next day, Curl Captain left to go to some kind of non-curling activity, leaving Sparklepants and me to our own devices. So I asked Sparklepants, as I went to the freezer to grab more ice for my swollen hand, “Hey, do you want to watch a movie? And have some subs?” To which he replied, “Sure!” So I left to get subs from Sub Shop #7, just a few blocks away, while Sparklepants took off on his bicycle to get some beer.

About Sub Shop #7, one Yelper says: “You cannot beat the prices. I got the full, full boat and it was…wow, what a sub should be… around $7 for something bigger than I’d imagine.” And of course we here at Curl Nation love a good deal! So I got the full boat too. I got two full boats. One with seven meats (yeah!) and the other with nine meats (bacon!). Each sub was about two feet long and four inches high!

We watched the movie (mediocre). And then something happened. I felt weird. Sparklepants rolled around on the floor. The subs were gone. Inside our protruding stomachs, they had became big meat babies. Curl Captain returned home and admonished us. Well, actually she just laughed at us. At our stupidity. At our big meat babies. At our colossal meat fail.

The next morning, I came out to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I was greeted by our most accomplished curler, Mookie! Always happy to see me, she brought me a slipper. But she seemed a bit less chipper than usual. And then I saw it. Her big meat baby. It was in brown mounds and puddles all over the carpet!

You see, during the meat fest, we might have given her a few big, juicy beef rib bones. I might have dribbled some thick lamb gravy onto her kibbles. She might have been over the moon about it. But her intestines were not.

So this post is a shout out to Mookie, our beloved and intrepid curling guru. She hasn’t been feeling well for a couple of days, and it’s quite upsetting.

I sure hope she feels better soon.

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